Noah is Official!

April 13th was Noah's day. That was the day his adoption was finalized and he legally became ours!

Noah's adoption was finalized in Utah and therefore the finalization took place at the county courthouse. No Skype for us this time. We got to meet the judge in person!

We invited family to come if they were able and were excited to have my parents, Zack's Step-Dad, Ray, and Danny and Rachel there with us. A representative from our attorney was there as was also a representative from our adoption agency. (Technically Noah has been under their custody for the past six months.) We arrived about 15 minutes early so Zack and boys had some fun killing time outside the courtroom:

I'd never been in a courtroom before, so it was a new experience for me. The judge sat up on the stand and we all rose as he came in. Everything was very official. They even called our agency rep up to the stand and asked her questions. We didn't have to go sit up on the stand, but our attorney did ask us questions about Noah, like, "Do you understand that he will have a right to your inheritance if you should die?" and "Do you understand that you are responsible to take care of all of his needs?" and things like that. Then he asked me, not Zack, how I felt about having him in our home. I managed not to cry, though it was hard, as I talked about how wonderful it is to be his parents. He is such a special little spirit and it just feels so perfect having him in our family.

The judge said his legal shpill, signed the decree of adoption and Noah was ours!

The judge was nice enough to let us take pictures.

We went home and put the boys down for a nap. And when I say boys, I mean ALL the boys. Zack took a nap, too. Noah woke up before the others so he and I had some one-on-one time for awhile. I saw the outfit at the store the night before and HAD to buy it for Noah. Little brothers are AWESOME!

After the naps were over we went to Texas Roadhouse to celebrate. We had planned to stop at a park before dinner because we played at a park the day Caleb's adoption was finalized and so we thought it would be a fun tradition. The weather, however, was too cold to let us. So we took a picture and left. At the restaurant, Caleb enjoyed eating Dad's steak.

And the guest of honor fell asleep halfway through the meal.

It had been a long, but very fun, day.

We are so happy that Noah is in our family. For your viewing pleasure, here's a short clip of Noah laughing at Caleb's antics. There's also a longer version, if you feel so inclined. I think I'll call these clips "Legal Brothers".

What do we do now?

I was reminded while getting a bottle ready for my baby. But I didn't mention it. Instead I said, "It's Trevor's birthday!" My nephew is turning one today! Such a great reason to rejoice this day. It's my cousin, Marcus's birthday, too. Yea for birthdays! That's what I focused on. But I still remembered. I couldn't help it. Four years ago today Jeff died.

I don't like remembering that day at all. Waking up to the phone call from my Dad. Feeling numb. I think my first words after Zack told me were, "What do we do now?" That whole day was a nightmare. Going up to Jeff and Kim's house, walking into the girl's bedroom to see my mom folding clothes. Hugging her and just crying. What do we do now? Sitting and crying on the bed with Kim. What do we do now? Touching his arm, feeling his soft soft hair that had just started to grow in after the last chemo treatments. Seeing his body and knowing he just wasn't there anymore. What do we do now?

Lost. It was just a lost feeling. It was an empty, lost feeling. An every-fiber-of-my-being-is-resisting-this-new-reality-and-I-don't-want-to-live-it-anymore feeling.

What do we do now?

The answers came. They came slowly but surely, as I was ready to hear them. They were answers I already knew. I just didn't really know them until now.

They came in church the next day, Easter Sunday, as we listened to messages about our Savior's resurrection. Assurances that this life is not all. This is just the beginning. This is just a part of our Heavenly Father's marvelous plan for His children.

They came as I watched and was a recipient of the kindness of friends and neighbors. Friends who made us lasagna and pie for the luncheon after the funeral. Lasagna and pie! Two of the hardest, most time consuming dishes to make, in my opinion. And they made them for me. And for my family because those were some of Jeff's favorite foods. I will never forget that. Neighbors who mowed Kim's lawn and pulled her weeds. Who shoveled her driveway in the wintertime (and who still do!).

The answers came as I read the scriptures. When I poured over the verses that told me where Jeff was and what he was doing and who he was with.

They came in songs on the radio, kind words from friends, and quiet moments late at night.

What do we do now?

We live. We live because He lives. And because He lives, Jeff lives. I know it.

We share this good news with everyone. We share it by bearing testimony, by loving those who surround us, by keeping the commandments. We love our families.

I know that my Savior lives. I know that because of Him, my brother lives.

Yes, today is a hard day. I'll remember and I'll cry. And then I'll go hug my boys and tell them about their Uncle Jeff and how completely wonderful he was and still is and how great it will be when they finally get to meet him. And we'll go put pinwheels on his grave and tell him we love him. And then we'll have lasagna and pie for dinner tonight.

Parenting 101 or Why Alma is Da MAN

Can I just tell you how awesome Alma was? 'Cuz he was pretty awesome.

I mean, as a person, he was a pretty cool guy. At first he was kind of a jerk, devoting his time to turning people away from the church, then was visited by an angel (because of the prayers of his father) and turned his whole life around, became a prophet and leader of the church, and later became the chief judge of Zarahemla because everyone thought so highly of him and trusted him so much. Then he devoted his life to teaching the gospel to the people. If you want to read his story, go here. Suffice it to say, he was a great, great man. He's my hero even without being an awesome parent.

Now the scriptures tell us nothing of his life as a parent, but I'm pretty sure that he was a darn good one. (Please excuse my soft-swear.)

What makes me think he was a good parent? Because he wrote the book on how to be a good parent. Actually it's not even a book. It's just two sentences. That's right, it's only two sentences long. TWO!!

I stumbled across it as I was reading yesterday morning. Want to read it?

Here it is:

“And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.

And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works.”

-Alma 7:23-24

That last part, I'm pretty sure could be read as "...and then ye will always abound in good parenting."

What could be better advice for parenting than that? First off, you need to be humble and submissive. How are you going to be able to ask for and get Heavenly Father's help if you aren't humble enough to receive it? Next you are told to be patient and long-suffering. I think all parents are very aware of how much patience it takes to raise children. But it's nice to hear it and be reminded over and over...and over. Then we are told to be temperate. What does that mean? It means being steady, consistent, and in control. Vital qualities in order to build trust with your kids and also vital in disciplining them. And then there's keeping the commandments of God. There is power in doing the things God has asked of us. And that power is vital in helping us raise our kids. When we do what God asks, He is more likely to be able to bless us with what we need when we ask for it. Don't forget to ask for His help in raising your kids! He knows them better than you do. He understands exactly what they need and when they need it. He understands why they sometimes act the way they do. And I'm pretty sure he loves our kids as much as we do so, of course, he will help us help them. All we have to do is ask. Finally, we need to remember to thank him for helping us. Always remember to give thanks.

There you go. Parenting 101. All you ever needed to know in raising kids.

Thanks, Alma. You are now my parenting hero.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Lest you think we aren't doing anything to celebrate St. Patrick's Day at our house.

Behold! The wearing of the green!

The New 'Do

On Tuesday we took Caleb to a salon to get his hair cut. It wasn't that we didn't like his nice long hair. It was just getting too hard to keep from getting little knots in it. Lint would show up in his hair often and it was just hard to keep it looking nice. I knew it needed a trim and we decided it was time to take him to someone who knew about his type of hair and get their opinion on what was best for it.

Here's what Caleb's hair looked like Monday night.

A. Dorable.

But it needed to be cut. Or trimmed at least. Zack found a place to take him, booked a time, and last Tuesday we went.

Chris, Caleb's stylist, told us that Caleb's hair wasn't mature enough to shave off completely. (Not that that was what we were looking for.) It would damage the scalp. If he did that then the hair would grow back thicker, coarser and harder to manage as he got older. So he said he would take about half of the hair off.

Half. Right.

Caleb was pretty good for him and sat in the chair. Zack tried to keep his attention away from the clippers. Chris started to take a few cuts off the top. And then, well, I'm not sure if he just decided it was too hard to style a toddlers hair or what, but the clippers came out and he shaved all but a half inch of hair off.

Caleb looks happy. Chris, not so much.

When it was all done, Caleb gave Chris a thank you and then a flirty smile that he usually reserves for flight attendants and blondes. (We didn't tell Chris that. Not quite sure if he'd take it as a compliment...) He also gave Chris some "knuck", so that was good.

With short hair, Caleb didn't look older to me like I thought he would- he looked younger. Kind of like when he was 6 months old. And, I hate to admit it, but I kind of missed the fro. That night Zack and I both thought Caleb looked like a middle-aged black lady with all that short hair.

The next morning I actually woke up feeling pretty bummed about his short hair. I really missed the fro. But, after looking at it again, it started to grow on me and I realized how cute Caleb looked.

He is looking more like a little boy!

And he can wear a hat!

When we put a hat on him with a fro he resembled Bill Cosby from the '70's. (Think little puffs of hair sticking out over his ears. Nice, huh?) No puffs of hair here:

(I just put this picture on so you could be jealous that I get to kiss those cheeks. All The Time.)

All in all, I think my little guy is a cutie with

OR without a fro.

Project: Church Books

When we brought Caleb home he was 3 1/2 months old and he liked to sleep. A lot. Sundays were easy because he slept for most of our church meetings. Sacrament meeting = Nap time. It was great. When he got a little older he started staying awake more during meetings. But he'd just chill in my or Zack's lap. We'd give him a toy to look at and everything was dandy.

Then he learned to walk.

All of a sudden sitting for an hour and ten minutes straight wasn't fun anymore. (Whaaat? You don't want to sit on daddy's lap and stare at the back of people's heads for an hour? What's wrong with you!?) Caleb needed to be entertained. We brought toys for him to play with but, as a lot of you well know, those didn't keep him quiet. It's hard to keep a one year-old quietly entertained. He's ONE. You can't reason with him. You can't talk to him about how he needs to be reverent and keep his hands to himself and not yell sporadically throughout the meeting. You just can't.

One thing Caleb does like A LOT is reading books. So we brought books to quietly read with him during the meeting. While the congregation was learning about Christ and charity, repentance and forgiveness, Caleb was learning about trucks and fruit and animals. And he was quiet.

Wait a minute. Our goal in bringing him to church isn't to teach him to be quiet. and it isn't to teach him about trucks. It's to teach him to recognize the Spirit and learn about Jesus and families being forever and all that good stuff. So why not have him read books about it?

So, a few weeks ago, we all took a trip to the distribution center and bought a lot of pictures of Christ and a ton of temple pictures. Then we went over to Alpha Graphics and had them laminated and turned into some church books.

We have a Jesus Book.

Caleb doesn't really like to "read" this one. When we try to turn the pages and talk about the pictures he makes us go back to the front page and then just points to Jesus and says "Dezs". That's good enough for me.

We also have a Temple Book.

He's not as entertained with this one, but I'm hoping as he gets older and starts to recognize the various temples, he'll like it more. (This book only has 23 temples. I guess we could do a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th edition to get the rest of them in!)

We also got him a small copy of The Book of Mormon. No, he can't read it, sillies. But he does like to fan through the pages. He used to fan through the pages of the hymn book, but I'm nervous that he'll accidentally rip a page. I feel much better now that he has his own book. For Easter we think we'll get him a small copy of the Children's Songbook. That one is colorful and has pictures!

My future church book projects include making a Family Book of pictures of extended family members, a Prophet Book of all the prophets, and a book that tells the story of adopting Caleb and having him sealed to us. If anyone has any other ideas for church books, let me know.

Projects Projects Projects

I need motivation.

I need motivation to blog and I need motivation to do all the projects that are building up around me daily. So, I thought I'd combine the two. I will blog about my lack of motivation to do projects! Ha. Just kidding. Oh my goodness, I'm so funny.

What I mean is, I will blog about my projects. I'm hoping that, by doing this, it will, in some strange, twisted way, motivate me to do ...all the stuff I'm supposed to do. There is something about being accountable or having to report to other people about the things you do, right? Also, there's something to be said of an audience- however small or large it may be. For example, when I write in my journal about an event I am not nearly as detailed nor do I write as in-depth as I do when I write about it in a blog. NObody is going to read my journal. (At least not while I'm alive) ANYbody could read my blog.

I'm warning you now, that some of these "projects" might not fit under the traditional umbrella of things we like to call projects. For instance, I might write about the project of cleaning my floor. Or making dinner. Or cleaning up throw up. Or entertaining an 18 month old. (Okay, maybe that last one could be considered a legitimate project.)

Hopefully this will make me write more blogs, do more to make my home better, and maybe I'll enjoy doing my projects more.